I'm getting married and my Mom has moderate dementia. I feel like it would be too much for her to attend our wedding.
My Mom has moderate dementia. She has no recall but when you're talking one on one with her, she can carry on a conversation. Of course she'll repeat herself and ask you the same question but we just go with the flow when talking with her. We are getting married at the end of the September with around 30 guests (immediate family and close friends). My family (2 brothers and a sister) just threw a surprise engagement party for us at one of their homes with just siblings and their spouses and 3 nieces. (backtrack: I thought it was a pool party so when I was at my Mom's visiting the day before, I laid out an outfit for her to wear so my brother wouldn't have to deal with that when he came to pick her up.) When my Mom and brother arrived, I found out my Mom didn't want to come because her back hurt. She also doesn't recall ever being at my other brother's home before but we got her settled and comfortable on the couch. We made her a plate of food but it's almost like she didn't know what to do with the food on her plate. She was very quiet, withdrawn and just looked lost. I felt so bad for her. She stayed a couple of hours and then my brother took her back home.
It is really weighing on my mind if I should put Mom through the stress of attending our wedding. She also has back trouble so we were going to rent a wheelchair for the day. I was going to have one of my siblings oversee my Mom's care for the afternoon but I don't want to put any added stress on anyone that day. Even if she did attend our wedding, she wouldn't remember anything soon after...dementia is an awful disease. My sister and I are the primary caregivers but my brothers help out when they can by checking on her. I would feel guilty if my Mom wasn't there but I feel it would be more stressful for her if she was. After seeing her at our engagement party, she is just going with the flow and lost in new surroundings. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.