I think I’m fucked.

So me and this kid Brendan tooted some crank and decided it would be a good idea to steal a bunch of pork loins from my uncles’ uncles trucking company.

We did it with these two shines, one who looked really similar to this guy we used to score shit off of in Baltimore. He mentioned something about a Kaisha haunting his ass for child support payments or some shit.

Anyway, before the heist went down, as I was leaving my house in my Hugo Boss tracksuit (not the faggy kind) I saw this crow perched on a wire, staring at me all funny like. Felt like I had one of those things on me…I suggested we went down the shore, but Brendan suggested we did it before the crank wore off.

So we get to the location and we set it up so Brendan looks like he’s been hit by a car driven by the mulignans, so the trucker stops to give help…that part worked well.

Now where things start to get fucked up, Brendan must’ve done too much crank which got him a little trigger happy - the driver mentioned something about victory having a thousand fathers…couldn’t really hear him over the R’n’b track he had playing in his cab (lyrics kept repeating “up in the club” - didn’t have enough time to Shazam but would appreciate if anybody could ID the track cuz it was 🔥). Anyway the truck driver had kind of a limp wrist so maybe he was a flambé. Either way he was supposed to be in on it and earn mucho pesos but didn’t really seem to be clued in.

I dunno, Brendan’s finger must’ve slipped or something and before you know it, the drivers lying dead. The two shines high tail it and now it’s just me and Brendan with a dead Puerto Rican.

Anyway I think I’m fucked. My uncles uncle is gonna be pissed. What should I do?