I hate being trans

Nobody really takes me seriously. They all think it’s “just hormones”. People think I just want attention, but that’s the LAST thing I want. No matter how hard I try, I always get called she. People don’t see me as a boy, they see me as a girl and I’m sick of it. Why do people see me and think of the cruelest things to say? I just want to exist like everyone else. I get scared that not even my friends see me as a boy. People don’t even call me he/him, they just call me they/them. I get they’re trying but I just wish I could’ve been born a boy. And those stupid tiktok’s on “HoW tO pAsS” basically just say NEVER EXPRESS YOURSELF NEVER FEEL JOY BE BLAND. I don’t want to give up the things I love for people to see me as a boy, but I’m just so sick of people hating me for trying to make myself feel better by expressing myself for who I am.