Gained 40lbs in 8 months since quitting drinking and smoking and feeling depressed

Hey yall! I was just looking for some encouragement or words of wisdom.

I’m a woman in mid 30s who drank, smoked cigarettes and weed for over 10 years. It was extremely difficult for me to quit as I quit thousands of times. I finally succeeded in sticking to it and it’s been 8 months and I’ve gained 40lbs.

I can barely fit in any of my clothes, I feel so depressed every time I look in the mirror and every time I see people I haven’t seen in a long time I wanna hide and I feel ashamed

Summer is coming and I can’t hide under coats anymore and it’s raised my anxiety and I feel depressed

A side note is I think there’s just so much pressure these days with social media to look good and to be honest was always known for having a nice body and I feel even worse about it now. It’s like I’m realizing I put so much worth into how I looked! But I also think I need to realize I was always so lean but I also stayed lean in my late womanhood because I drank and smoked not because I was so healthy.

Anyways I just feel so down guys it’s hard to enjoy being sober when I’m so wrapped up with how I look.