I started reading "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, my partner found it, was not happy 😵‍💫

Hello. I am 26m and I'm in a 2yr+ relationship with my girlfriend. Right now I feel like I am a caretaker, and am entirely responsible for her wellbeing and even survival. If I don't work and pay the bills they won't get paid, if I don't cook she won't eat, if I don't make her doctors appointments and take her there she won't go. She says she is too mentally ill to work, clean or do much so everything is up to me. It feels like if she is not happy then I am not happy and she is never happy. Everything is always terribly negative and bad and it's so draining trying to make her happy.

I found out about the concept of codependency and started doing research. A lot of it seemed to fit what I've been experiencing. Me trying and constantly trying to keep her happy, and me only feeling happy if she is happy, which is almost never. I found out about this book Codependent No More and I wanted to check it out. I found the audiobook on Spotify thinking that would be more discreet than a physical book. I like it so far, on chapter 4 and I'm understanding a lot of what she's saying.

I didn't want my partner to find that I was reading it because she would get upset, thinking I'm accusing of something or saying our relationship is bad. I'm just trying to understand what's going on.

Well I messed up leaving my Bluetooth on and having this be the last thing on my Spotify. We got in the car, my phone automatically connected and started playing the book 🤦 My girlfriend said um do you need to talk??? I said no, she got more annoyed and said I THINK YOU DO. Ugh. I'm sorry.

I said I'm reading the book because I didn't know what what word meant and it just came up on Spotify, making it sound like I had no real interest. Maybe I shouldn't have lied but she said right away we are NOT Codependent, our relationship is fine. She said I just need a therapist not books. (Both are good) so I made a therapy appointment for Monday. It's a virtual appointment though, so I'll have to do it at home where we live together. I said I feel uncomfortable with that and she said, we've been together over 2 years, you should be able to tell me or let me hear anything. Not the point! So now I'm worried I can't actually be authentic at therapy because she will be home and listening, and I have to be EXTRA careful if I keep reading that book.