My Highschool girlfriend (26F) cheated on me (26M) after 10 Years while I was on an exchange semester in Asia. Is forgiveness an option?

My Highschool girlfriend (26F) cheated on me (26M) after 10 Years while I was on an exchange semester in Asia.

I’m currently laying in my little brothers old bedroom at 3 am, with a heavy heart, shaking and barely breathing. She’s still in my bedroom. We met with 16, classmates, starting off with annoying each other just to get each other attention. Fast forward we finished Highschool together, studied in the same city, first our Bachelor and then our Master. We did everything together, we really were a team, she completed me. Last year for my last semester of my Masters Degree I moved to Japan for 6 Months (we are from Europe). It was a hard decision, but we knew she will visit me for 1.5 months and we trusted each other.

Fast forward to today, while just checking her phone searching for an old pic I saw a chat with a guy on instagram. Since November they’ve been sending each other messages, actually not even messages just pictures (I can’t see what kind of picture) not often but maybe every 2 weeks and just like 1 picture back and forth. This mad me very suspicious, so I’ve read the chat with her girl bestfriend, and read that they met at a club on Halloween.

I woke her up and confronted her, and she admitted kissing the guy in the club. While she was very ashamed, asking for forgiveness that it was a dumb mistake because of alcohol I think I can’t do it. While she promised that it was only this one kiss, that I might’ve forgiven she still contacted him on instagram first, archived our pics on her instagram and kept messaging him at least 10 pictures of whatever.

From the chat with her friend I think I see that they never met again, but there still were messages like „It’s my birthday I wish he would text me“; „This will be a good evening (partying), but hopefully I see him again“.

The worst thing is, yesterday I came back late from a flight, she was out and send me some spicy pics at 1:15 am from her bed, while checking her phone I saw she also send him a pic (after not texting for over a month) at 1:14. While she swears it was not the same, I don’t believe her.

Another thing that’s also even worse, she kept on being jealous and mad at me because I had some girl friends in Japan, just other female students I would hang out with. I thought after 10 years she would trust me enough, but she still was chatting with already mentioned bestfriend that I am always sitting next to x or whatever. I never ever cheated on her or anything!

And this bestfriend was always trying to drive as apart, also taking her to the party on Halloween, writing messages like „you should only do what makes you happy, who knows what he’s doing over there“. Getting her so drunk that I couldn’t even understand her texts when she texts while being out.

She says it doesn’t mean anything and that we are meant for each other, that’s what i thought as well, and that she would do anything if I could forgive her.

Sorry for the long text but I never had an other real relationship, we travelled the world together, we grew up together, it was perfect. I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to leave her. She said she would even block her bestfriend and never talk to her again, basically anything to not loose me. But can I forgive this?