Cannabis and closeness to Allah

Hi guys, I wanted to post on here because I'm having a really big internal struggle right now and was maybe hoping for some guidance.

I am a cannabis user, I mainly started using a few years ago to help with my mood and stress levels and to be honest it has done wonders for me. Ive always been aware that cannabis is haram and have always felt guilty about using so every ramadan will abstain for the month in an effort to try and be/do better.

Recently before this ramadan started ive been finding that my cannabis use has actually helped me feel a lot closer to Allah. I can't explain it but I've felt more present in prayer (I know I shouldn't pray when intoxicated) and I've also felt more passionate about practicing the majority of the quran teachings in my daily life. Additionally the quran seems to make more sense to me (ive read it 3 times before and recently started reading it a few hours after using cannabis and felt a lot more sense from it). So now it's ramadan again and I've given up cannabis for the month ive really been struggling. It's felt like I haven't been able to fully connect with Allah. I'm struggling to focus during prayer and I'm struggling to find the inner peace I usually get when I engage with my religion.

I'm finding all this really difficult because I know cannabis is meant to be haram. But how is it that without it I'm now struggling to find my connections with Allah?