Abandoning Faith for Reason
This is a very difficult concession to make, so please, if you're feeling critical of my experience, at least read my entire post before commenting.
I have recently come to a life-changing conclusion about science and my faith. Simply put, I am no longer someone who accepts reality without evidence, especially when such realities have significant personal implications.
I am a Christian in Texas who was homeschooled until I was in Junior High. My parents raised me under the ideologies of Conservative Christian Creationism, so the beginnings of my scientific perspective had already been compromised. At the end of High School, through my studies, I began to consider Evolution and Big Bang Cosmology as trusted, scientific fact. This triggered cognitive dissonance for me because, like most other Christians, I considered the Bible to be literal and infallible, or else it would be without credence. I can honestly say that I took opportunities to learn the truth about the development of life and the universe for granted, making excuses for my own system of belief in hopes that I could somehow reconcile evidence with my conflicting theology. If you know anything about Genesis, you know that the scientific community has drawn conclusions in direct contradiction to these scriptures. Not to make a case, but to give examples of the findings that I find the most compelling, here are a few observations that I believe have the merit to demand one's consideration:
Transitional species in the fossil record.
Occurrences of "macro-evolution".
Cosmic Microwave Radiation that confirms the age of the universe at 13.8 billion years old.
The expansion of the universe.
These few examples represent a tsunami of information that the Creationist community habitually ignore, make excuses for, and even lie about. I've attended Christian churches my entire life. I've studied the Bible and what Christians believe about creation, cosmology, physics, and the supernatural. I've known some very intelligent people that give a lively defense for creationism, but in personal conversation do not have a scientific reason to hold such a belief, even when they beg to differ. In the wake of all of the evidence for evolution and Big Bang cosmology, I can no longer consider Genesis an accurate source of history. This conclusion is very upsetting to me as my faith in the God of the Christian Bible is fundamental to who I am. My faith that Jesus is the son of God, that he died for my sins, and that there is a Heaven and a Hell which will accept those who do or do not have this faith, has suddenly been challenged beyond denial. I understand the Christian opposition to Evolution and Big Bang Cosmology much more intimately, now. In seeking the truth, I have found a bittersweet reality: that the Bible is not inerrant as I once believed it was, that the implication of this conclusion is that the Bible has lost its status as a source of truth for me, and that I am ultimately free to continue searching for truth wherever it is evident, regardless of the Christian perspective of such a venture.
I'm truly saddened to lose something so foundational to my identity. This isn't yet something that feels liberating; so far I just feel deceived, stupid for not realizing these things earlier, and very uncomfortable discussing my conclusions with almost everyone I know. I grew up in the church, almost all of my friends did, too. My wife, my best friends, my siblings, my parents, my grandparents, my cousins... they're (almost) all Christians and I understand their perspective. I know how damaging it's going to sound to tell them that I no longer believe what they believe. From their standpoint, what I'm going through is a concession to sinful thoughts, turning away from something that I know is the truth, and forsaking God, whose miracles I've witnessed.
Although I say all of this, I've actually returned to church for the first time in almost a year about a week ago. I'd like to continue going because I love these people and I think I can be a reasonable, positive influence among my friends in the congregation. Aside from the technicality that I don't consider the Bible to be the one and only source of truth, much (not all) of its principals are very healthy, helpful philosophical stances to take when dealing with human relationships. One very positive thing I've brought from Christianity into my life that I hope stays with me is the complete lack of hate against other people. People I disagree with, people in countries with which we are at war, even people close to me who have done unspeakable and "unforgivable" things, I forgive and love anyway. I recently heard on the Netflix show 'IO' this Plato quote: "...the desire and the pursuit of the whole, is called love. " I really believe in true altruistic love, so I try to contribute to its influence over the world any chance I get, and hate just doesn't play a part in that. One "miracle" that still drives my scientific curiosity is emergent systems. I think if we continue to grow as a species in love and reason, whatever is the emergent system of such a society, I'm sure will be a sight to see.
Feel free to ask questions in the comments.