Like waiting for death

I moved out of Myanmar a couple years ago when I was 15 and only came back for 5 days cuz I’m almost 18. Now the days are passing by so fast I just can’t enjoy being home one bit. I know it’s inevitable that I won’t return for at least another 7-10 years but I really just want to stay if possible. Every moment is just so painful. It’s like someone waiting to die. They know they’re dying but they’re just enjoying each moment and taking it in. Taking pictures of everything but also knowing this maybe the last time I probably see, hear and smell them. I mean sure overseas is better, safety electricity etc but Myanmar is home. Honestly don’t wanna leave but well I don’t really have a choice.

I don’t mind if anyone else wants to share their experiences. But yeah it’s just real painful.