Wife and I aren’t compatible sexually

I (32m) and my wife (32f) have been married for 12 years. Throughout our time together, our sex life has been rocky. Part of the problem is that my libido is really high and isn’t showing much signs of slowing down. It’s always been that way. Ideally I would like sex around 4x per week. She is okay with about 2 times per week, which seems pretty good, but I’m always the one who initiates, I am always the one who does all the work while she is able to just be there, and any time I bring it up it’s met with “you’re in charge of that”. She has never once initiated it and it takes an act of god for her to participate. She just doesn’t ever seem interested and if I don’t bring it up it will be missed every single time without fail. When I finally say screw it and stop initiating then she starts to bring it up. It feels like she tolerates it to keep me around more than anything.

I think I’m a decently attractive dude, I get compliments fairly often. I work out several times a week, have a masters degree, and a decent job. I really do my best, but it just damages my self-esteem so badly to be begging for things to change for so long. I just feel like shit and the whole cycle of upset goes up and down about every 3 months or so.

It’s comfortable living with her and we are great friends, we also have kids that are fairly young which complicates things. I just don’t know if a better sex life even exists outside of this relationship since it’s the only one I’ve ever really had besides a couple during my teen years.

Tl;dr I don’t think I will ever be happy with my sexual relationship in my marriage, but I don’t know if anything better even exists outside of it so I’m stuck. There’s a lot at stake for having no guarantee of ever finding a more rewarding sexual relationship.

Edit to say thanks everyone for your responses. There’s been a lot of them and a lot of good resources and tips as well as reality checks for me. I appreciate you all for taking the time