I don’t know how to feel.

Recently found out about my fiances daily porn addiction but it’s deeper than that. He would go on tinder on work trips just to look at women and then find their onlyfans and send them thousands. I’ve gotten flowers from him 3 times in 5 years because he is very money conscious and I respect it.

With all of that being said, the majority of his money (thousands) was spent in messages to women to receive $80 30-second masturbating videos. He’s never asked me for videos or anything and he said “he assumed i wasn’t interested” which is crazy because I would have if he asked. Anyway, I never masturbate around him we typically just have sex and touch each other. Ever since I read the disgusting messages he sent these women online about how “sexy it is to watch them finger themselves” blah blah blah… anytime we are intimate he has actually asked me to do it and was saying to me all of the things he was saying online. I don’t know how to feel part of me wants to just make him happy so he doesn’t feel that he needs to go back to onlyfans but it really felt uncomfortable because he hasn’t asked for that in 5 years and I literally just read his message threads.

We’re still trying to make things work by the way he’s being really open with me I don’t know how honest he is but he seems to be wanting to change due to severe shame and embarrassment.