I have thoughts of giving another BJ

I’ve only given one BJ to a man and I didn’t like it very much but since then I’ve had lots of thoughts of doing it again, maybe it was the smell or maybe the taste. But I also can’t help but think I’m thinking this way because I was brought up to believe that if I’m feminine and I like girly stuff then I should be with a man. Am I actually gay or am I straight and just forcing myself to have these thoughts to be with men rather than women?