I should’ve known better that nothing would be done about being SA’d multiple times.

Despite all the advice I was given about not trusting the church authorities I did and now I’m starting to regret it. I was told they’d protect themselves and they are.

I didn’t see any consequences happen for the person/persons who harmed me. I still saw the pastor of the church using personal information about me being SA’d before (in my family) that I shared to someone I trusted in confidence in his sermons. I never shared it to him, I shared it to someone I thought was on my side but she must have told him to cover for her tracks.

Now they’ve been talking about my previous assault in sermons, saying I’m not real, I’m fake, no authentic, didn’t heal the wounds of my family, it’s in my genetics to do wrong and they’ve forgiven the guy and welcomed him back into the congregation.

I submitted the sermons directed at me yet they’re still left to go up to preach about it. They told me they’re taking my case seriously, told me they were sorry and that they’d be looking into things. At first he was responsive but now I’ve heard nothing from the person in charge. It’s been 8 months and it’s been so drawn out.

Before any one says anything about legal means, (it may sound harsh) but unless someone is getting me a lawyer I have no means of getting one. This did not happen in the U.S. I have tried to seek pro bono legal means in my country (no response), in the country it happened (they said the case is too complicated for them) and even U.S lawyers I reached out to are only permitted by state jurisdictions.

So I have no protection and I just feel like giving up.

edit: not authentic*