Can someone support me

I’ve been in therapy for 3 years after a bad weed trip, the DPDR started that night I had a very traumatic response I called my kids and told them I’m sorry I felt like my heart was stopping and I lost all feeling that night and it has never left. I developed FND because of it and when I have an episode I literally can’t cope with it because my nervous system has a fit too I just need reassurance that I’m okay and just an ear to listen. My downfall is unable to ground myself when I’m in that dreamlike state. I feel like my consciousness will just vanish and I’ll be a zombie with no thoughts the rest of my life. I just wish to feel validated and heard, this is impossible to explain to someone who has never dealt with it daily, so telling people I know is pointless and worse of a trigger. I came here to feel comfort.

I have had previous trauma in my childhood and my career in Emergency Medical Services with combination of the weed trip at my bachelor party they diagnosed me with cPTSD, during all my workups they also said FND is at play as well a Fibro, and vestibular neuritis..but none of this was going on or recognized before that night it’s not making sense to me. This has done so much damage to my life to where I had to retire at 33 and go on disability. I’m working a side gig per diem to stay engaged with reality but it’s very hard. I’m struggling here I just needed a platform to vent. I appreciate you all and we are all in this fight together. God bless