question to those who got better

is it usual to kinda forget how you were before dpdr, what feeling normal and what feeling like me means and will it come back to me as soon as my brain will start recovering? like, will i have a moment of feeling like i'm waking up, and the memories along with just the "feel" will come back to me? in the first 2 months i was very emotional and could remember almost everything, even though i couldn't feel it anymore. but now, in the third month, when i started distracting myself (playing video games for 24/7, not sure if i should?) and don't think that much as well as don't feel heavy emotions, it's kinda like i'm forgetting how i was like and it's not making me be positive about continuing to be calm and trying to accept my dpdr. i even kinda forgot that it's not normal for me to have mind this empty, with no thoughts at all. the person who i always was would have a heart attack if she read that lol. i'm scared i'm allowing this to eat me whole, or that i'm developing some kind of amnesia. am i doing something wrong? also, i'm going to get a QEEG today, so i'm super interested if it's going to tell anything and if there's something wrong with my brain or is it really just dpdr playing tricks.