I dont know what to put here

My ex boyfriend punched his mother in the face when he was 17. He used to get in shouting matches to his father for most of our relationship. I met him when we were 19 and he did heroin. He overdosed and recovered and quit using. I was with him for 15 years.

He would throw fits at work. Throwing things breaking things, hurting himself multiple times. He had so many jobs it was insane. He would yell at anyone if he suddenly became angry or anxious. He relapsed a few times in the beginning, but really was clean for perhaps the last 7 years.

It was not always bad, but the fights always were. I broke up with him several times but always had him come back. Everything was always in my name but I needed to help him or something. But he would hurt me sometimes in these fights. Not enough to leave many bruises, so I put it out of my mind. And he was always remorseful. And then he gave me chlamydia and I found out he had been gaslighting me about cheating and I STILL stayed. And stayed.

We broke up finally for a " year" but really it was perhaps a week and then we moved back together after a few months. Everything was great for a while, until I got pregnant. Then one time he held me down again and screamed at me and when I told him to leave he started beating on the windows. I called the cops for the first time. He was sorry, and seemed to truly change.

And then when my son was around 1.5, it started getting bad. Fights became worse than before because now I was fighting back with my words. Then, he broke a bowl on my face and my perspective changed in that moment. It literally took having a heavy ceramic bowl broken on my face for me to decide to choose myself and my son. And I called the cops again. That's been it so far. I'm trying to figure out how to make everything work a different way now.

Someone told me that if you don't listen to what life is telling you it will then decide to make sure you notice.