5 weeks after leaving

So 5 weeks ago we broke up, I mean we didn’t officially break up, I had to ring the police he got arrested and we haven’t spoken since. Cops pursuing charges of controlling & coercive behaviour & assault. (Assault was not major, slight injury to my eye, affecting my sight, not permanently & wasn’t a visible injury) & had me locked in wouldn’t let me leave. He’s been violent before probably about 2 year ago, multiple times back then, pushing shoving spitting a bite, slaps ect, back then I’d be scared in the moment but more scared that he was ending it with me, because that’s what he’d be telling me, that he was done with me ect. Prior to recent assault it was all verbal & emotional stuff, he said they were regular rows & I was the cause, my friends / family said it was abuse, I didn’t know what to think apart from feeling depressed hopeless useless & just sad & embarrassed that I’d turned him against me. He’d often try to be affectionate but I normally refused because either I’d worry I’d do something wrong & he’d get upset with me or he’d get angry if I wanted to get a drink or move for example (sometimes small things like that would really annoy him) he also said I didn’t spend enough time with him but I used to get worried about seeing him cause the arguments & how he would speak to me would get to me. I think over those things now & feel like I didn’t put enough effort in. I felt I’d made the right decision 2 weeks after the assault, I kept remembering how scared I’d been & thought I need to stay away, now though I wake up crying about him, I have nightmares where I realise I’ve lost him, I feel I’ve thrown my future away. The love was real and makes me feel like I wish I’d stayed even though it was hard because it was my soulmate