Carbs

Feeling all the feels tonight. Having a hard time with being recently diagnosed (35y/o F) and the holidays approaching. No one around me understands what I’m going through. I’m major honeymooning and extremely sensitive to insulin. I’m scared I’ll never be able to my timings and ratios down to enjoy carbs again. Even fruit and protein spike me. I’m not low carb and don’t want to be low carb at all, but I have to be very selective of what I eat or I’ll have crazy rollercoaster sugars. I want to be able to treat myself to something desserty, a sandwich, or pasta/rice occasionally and not have to fear for my life. I really have no guidance from my endo yet and feel like I’m just in limbo and so hungry. I see people saying that they can eat whatever they want as long as they bolus for it. I want that to be me. I wish my pancreas would completely stop functioning at this point because it’s making it impossible to titrate.

Sorry for my rant. TLDR: please tell me I’ll be able to eat yummy foods again soon!