How Is One Supposed to Set Up Their Perks?

I am a 1,000-hour player that can't survive and struggles every single game to make a good contribution to my team. I have absolutely no idea what to do, and I'm almost ready to quit the game entirely. I was laughed at last game and told I had terrible perks--Autodidact, Better Than New, Empathy, Deja Vu--and that I was stupid for being so bad with 1K hours in the game. I'm the problem, I have no idea how to get better, and I'm desperate.

I usually have 3 or 4 healer perks. I don't know how to use Exhaustion perks.