Men, do women need to become more feminine? What are the good single women doing wrong?

In my last relationship, when my partner and i would fight or argue about ANYthing, he would make snarky comments that he wants to be with someone soft and feminine. When we are having a moment and im super soft and sweet or in bed when im being very submissive he will point out “why cant you always be like this”

This is a man that kept me in my masculine energy. (Prior cheating, alcoholic tendencies, intense baby mama drama and reconnections with her, etc)

And i have generally had to be in masculine energy for a lot of my life. I never got to be a kid. Besides that, the majority of my childhood and adult life has been rough up until a few years ago. When my dad was around, he was abusive and very controlling. I was sexually abused as a very young child. I was raised in a very conservative and traditional culture where women arent anything. I am a first generation American, daughter of immigrants that didnt do well for themselves. I am a woman now that stands up for herself. I challenge and talk back. I can also be a ball buster when it comes to humor with others.

Ive made a great life for myself. Ive been in therapy for many years and have done a lot of healing work, a lot of forgiveness, etc. i purchased my own home, its furnished with nice quality furniture. I work a good job. Ive always had nicer or just newer cars. I have my dream dogs. Ive traveled. I dont drink or do drugs. I am a super homebody now that ive purchased a hoke and have my dogs but i can still do whatever i want. Nothing holds me back. (Ex was divorced, married young, had kids super young) and didnt have the same things i had. He would always tell me he was amazed that i was able to buy my own home on my own without any help. But then sometimes use it against me 🙄 he was a master plumber and god forbid i needed something very minor done in my home that he spent 90% of his time at, he would make digs like “you’re going to make equity on your home from the work im doing for you” This was stuff like changing a faucet, putting in a new bathroom vanity for me, and unhooking and hooking back up my washer and dryer. All done spaced out over the course of 3 years.

In a relationship i am very giving (in all ways) i have excellent communication skills. I am very honest, loyal, high morals/integrity. I love to keep a clean and peaceful, happy home. And i always have a meal ready for my man whenever he gets home or comes over. Im an amazing cook. I celebrate birthdays and achievement or any milestone moments. I am good and fun in bed. i love having sex often. I dont have many previous sex partners. I am pretty/above average looking. My body is curvy. I have great boobs and a great behind. Super independent and will help my man with anything. This specific ex i was like his secretary. (Mail, bills, paperwork, calendars/appts) he just wasnt good at those things. He was a blue collar guy, a hard worker, made good money. But i have never felt “taken care of” or even loved in our relationship or in any relationship. Not financially. IN general. I feel like i know how to make someone feel loved, supported, cared for and i would go to bat for that person. But i never felt like i had someone who has my back, who would go to war for me, someone who could be my emergency contact. Someone that i could just rely on or make my life easier.

What am i doing wrong? I feel like after that relationship i cant find a man who is not possibly intimidated by me? Or that wants me for more than just my body.

Last year i met a guy on the beach, he approached me and wanted to hang/exchange numbers, etc it was all him. As we were getting to know each other, very early on i feel like he lost interest in me out of nowhere. And it was literally right after i turned my lease in and got a new car. I had a white jeep grand Cherokee before which i think was big but still feminine. (I have big dogs) and i got a newer black jeep grand cherokee that is blacked out. Is that vehicle too much for a feminine girl? Im asking because i got a new car without mentioning it to him or anyone really and he made a comment the next time he saw me like “how do you just get a new car like that”

Im 34 and cant find a good man! What am i doing wrong? Even if its not the soft/feminine issue. I know i am a great catch and i feel like i am someone you bring home to mom and mom would love me. Why dont men view me this way?

I am generally curious because i want to change if i am doing something wrong or something that keeps men away from wanting to pursue something with me. I am seeking to be in a loving, long term partnership that leads to marriage.