Four years chronically ill….tired of the prayers

I’ve been dealing with a gastrointestinal Illness for the past four years that’s not been properly diagnosed. Was reasonably well managed for most of it but now things are out of control and worse than ever.

In general “praying for you” doesn’t bother me. I know it’s a sign of showing you care. My mom is quite religious and I know she loves me and is so scared for me.

But I’m TIRED of having God shoe-horned into EVERY conversation about my illness. It’s four years mom. I even said to her the other day “If he was going to heal me mom, he would have by now. “ didn’t tell her he wasn’t there (she thinks I’m still Christian) but I had to give a little dose of reality. He would have done it by now.

I think she had a crisis of faith and talked to her pastor—but has since seemed to double down all the more.

I’ve had some doctors not do much to help me and I’ve had a terrible time trying to get testing requested/scheduled/discharged from the ER from vomiting up pure liquids and crying for help. I FINALLY get my appointment for a CT scheduled and of course God gets the credit for that. Instead of me calling every day for the past several days.

I appreciate her love and support and I know that’s genuine. It’s just he usual he gets none of the blame for four years of suffering but she’ll sure spend all her time praising Jesus if they ever find out what’s wrong with me.