does anyone else have conflicting feelings about their gender?

18 (FTM) have a really hard time figuring out who i am. i know for sure im not a girl/woman. but i look at pictures where i did identify as a girl/ are really fem and wonder if its all in my head like my mom says. i then think about how much i hated being referred to as a girl. i also haven’t started t or gotten my name change and i do plan on doing so. i think ill feel more confident in myself once i start taking testosterone. 1. does this feeling of conflict ever go away? 2. how do you tell people that you’re transgender without feeling awkward about it?