Starting to believe the “subs are in control” narrative is just another way for abusers to avoid accountability

So many posts in subs like BDSMadvice blame typically female subs who experience abuse at the hands of their typically male doms for not communicating or establishing boundaries enough. “Oh your dom brutally beat you and wouldn’t stop when you said stop? Well that’s your fault for not establishing a safe word and actually YOU are the abuser as the sub who holds the power for not being clear.”

So much victim blaming. If it was male doms who came up with this narrative they’re actually diabolically clever since this phrase releases them from all culpability. But why am I surprised? It’s 100% in line with rape culture.