im fucking worthless, disgusting, stupid, incompete, weak and pathetic

Im just slowly disintrigrating into nothing as everyone around me is smarter then me and do better then me. my coworkers hate me, everyone around me is repulsed by me and it seems like nothing is ever going to get better for me but im going to fucking try anyway because i know that i have no choice and i dont want to waste my life but its happening anyway and everything hurts so much the searing aganoizing pain of being worhtless and and zombie outcast lvigin amoung people its alll too much, i think, its too mcuh and i dont know what to do anymore. i have no one im all alone. also it looks like my body is self destructing because of high BP and because im really fucking lazy and mentally silly and thats bascilly destroying my body. probably going to be dead in a few years i guess.m WHATERVER NEDD TO THINK POSTIVE THOUGHTS EVERYHING GOING TO BE OK I GUESS