I’m off half my meds and I feel TERRIBLE!!!

I’m going to give full context for everything in case the people reading don’t know the terms and lingo, but also include extra info for those more versed in psychiatry. Bear with me haha.

I have extremely severe disabling schizoaffective disorder, bipolar 1 type. (Basically i have episodes of both bipolar and schizophrenia). I also have borderline personality disorder, complex post traumatic stress disorder, autism, and ADHD.

I sleep a LOT. like 20/24 hours a day. It interferes with my life hella. There’s a few things you can do to treat hypersomnia. First off is SSRIs/SNRIs (antidepressants), which I’ve tried. Next is stimulants, which keep you up. I’ve tried several in that class. Last is Xyrem, i have not tried that. It knocks you out so good that you’re not sleepy in the morning. It’s a controlled substance and only certain doctors can perscribe it. My psychiatrist can not, so I went and saw a sleep doctor.

Due to the nature of the medication you have to do lots of tests to make sure you actually need it. First test is a sleep study, which I already completed. They hook a bunch of wires and tubes to you and then you fall asleep while they monitor you. The one I did tested me for restless leg syndrome and sleep apnea. I have not gotten the official results back, but the tech said he didn’t think I had either. The next test is a sleep/nap study. You get hooked up to everything, then you sleep overnight. Then you get up for two hours, then take a 2 hour nap. Then you repeat a few times. This tests you for hypersomnia and narcolepsy. Issue is for the nap study you cannot be on any psychiatric medications.

Due to my mental health, I was on eleven. Gabepentin (400mg 3x daily) which is for anxiety. Buspar (20mg 3x daily) which is for anxiety. Vallium (5mg, PRN) which is for panic attacks. Hydroxyzine (25mg PRN) which is for high anxiety days. Lamictal (150mg, night) which is for my bipolar. Latuda (120mg, night) which is for schizophrenia. Seroquel (150mg, night) which is for bipolar and schizophrenia. Pristiq (100mg, morning) which is for depression. Trintellix (20mg, morning) for depression as well. Cogentin (1mg, morning) which is for managing side effects of seroquel and latuda). And finally, ritalin (20mg ER, morning) which is for my adhd and to keep me up.

I got off of the gabepentin, which went fine. No side effects.

Next i went off of the Valium, ritalin and hydroxizyne. No side effects.

Then i ran out of buspar and couldn’t get a refill. Now I’m starting to feel more anxious.

And my insurance stopped covering trintellix. Had to cold Turkey. I feel. fucking. AWFUL.

I’m so fucking depressed. Like it’s not even funny how absolutely shitty I feel. Im arguing with everyone and every little thing is setting me off. I’ve been having panic attacks again, and I don’t have any meds to stop them.

I’m off the 5 least effective meds I was on and I’m not functioning anymore.

I have zero clue how I’m going to survive off of the other pills

Last time I tried to get off the latuda I had to be hospitalized. Time before that I also had to be hospitalized.

I have no clue how I’m going to survive this.