Not proud of myself.

(VENT ABOUT ANOREXIA AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN MYSELF IN GENERAL)

Everyday I look at myself in the mirror with complete disgust and guilt. I feel weak. I am not proud of my body and myself in general.

I lost around 20kg in a few years, in such an unhealthy way. With barely eating and binging and purging. This was caused by extreme bullying at my old secondary/high school. I was called "the diabetes girl", I left that school but the nightmares and flashbacks get back to me.

I am also not proud of myself in general, I am not intelligent, not smart and I am horrible at learning. My mind fogs up so easily that it is so hard to understand things.

Just now, I cried due to these reasons, I went to the mirror with disgust and anger.

(Messy vent, it is all over the place, sorry about that. Thankyou for reading x)