Toddler Hygiene

I feel like the worst parent in the world ☹️

I’m really struggling with anything hygiene-related with my son (27 months). Brushing hair, cutting nails, brushing teeth, etc. He hates it. Sometimes he politely says “I don’t want it” and then cries if I try. Or sometimes he’ll take the toothbrush himself and bite the toothpaste off it then say “done”. If it’s nails he’ll kick and hit out. I managed to do his finger nails last week but my mum literally had to hold him down.

His toe nails are getting really long, he has noticeably bad breath, and his hair is full of rice from yesterday he doesn’t want brushed out. I don’t know what to do other than physically pin him down.

I’ve tried a sticker chart, I’ve tried bribes, I’ve showed him cutting my own nails and cutting his Bear’s nails, I’ve tried letting him brush MY teeth, I’ve tried giving him something distracting like my phone, I’ve tried doing it when he’s not looking, I’ve tried doing it while he’s in the bath (it’s the one hygiene-related thing he doesn’t mind), I’ve tried begging and pleading… I don’t know what to do ☹️

His 2 year health visitor appointment is next week and I’m scared she’s going to take one look at him and take him away ☹️