Partner doesn’t seem to understand that childbirth is a huge deal.

When I first got serious with my partner, I was clear about the fact that I’m undecided whether I want kids; and that currently it’s leaning towards “no” because I’m nowhere near financially ready, and also I’m TERRIFIED of the idea of childbirth. I have some friends who have had c-section horror stories whereas I’ve never so much as broken a bone or had even a minor day surgery… nor do I ever want to.

He seemed to be totally understanding at first, but over time, it’s become clear that he really wants to have kids with me (he already has a daughter with his ex). He talks about it a lot, and when I remind him that I’m not sure, he tries to hide his disappointment but I see it. I’ve explained the physical risks of childbirth and he just has some kind of faith that that won’t happen to me. To be fair, he has this overly optimistic attitude about everything, not just this particular topic. I find I have to be the one to remind him about reality sometimes.

I guess I’m just venting mostly. My mom had a super easy pregnancy experience with me so she also shares his sentiment and doesn’t understand my concerns. I’ll never let anyone pressure me into doing anything I don’t want to do, but I guess I’m just venting. I don’t understand how men honestly can expect a woman to bear children for them. It’s such a massive change to your body that comes with a ton of serious risks. I would never ask my partner to put his health and possibly LIFE at risk for something I wanted… and they act like it’s no big deal.