I am uncomfortable with my boyfriend’s girl best friend. I feel crazy.

Me (F24) and my boyfriend (M24) have been together for 8 months now, long distance (2-5 hours away depending on where he’s working). He was a very wonderful respectful and charming boyfriend in the beginning but recently things have turned rocky. Sometimes, I feel he tends to dismiss my feelings. But anyways, that’s not what this is about. My boyfriend has a female best friend(F24), and I suppose he and this girl have been friends since pre-school. Same thing with her brother, he’s best friends with both of them. At first when I heard about her I didn’t have much of a problem at all, i’ve had a male best friend in the past so I know that people of the same genders can have platonic relationships with each other. But it threw me off one time when he was talking about her, he called her attractive. He said something along the lines of “yeah she’s an attractive girl”. It bothered me. I said something to him and he said he completely understood and apologized. He said that he is not in anyway shape or form romantically attracted to her, but he acknowledges that his friends are attractive. I said okay…and let it go.

When he’s at home working, which is about 5 hours away from me. He does occasionally go out to the bars with her and her friend sometimes. Or sometimes just those two. I never had a problem with it, he did one time tell me people always think they’re together down there. But again I just assumed maybe that was people being judgmental. They sometimes go to lunch together too. There’s been times where she needed rides from places and he’s given her some. He’s always updated me every second of the way. I’ve met his family as well and pretty much everyone knows we’re dating, even his mother made a comment saying once “oh yeah you guys have been friends since you guys were crawling around on floors”. Made me feel a little better like ok his mom is maybe trying to say there’s nothing there? I don’t know. But then one day, he calls me and tells me that he has a work christmas party coming up and he wanted me to come, but he just got told. And I worked weekends at the time so I wouldn’t be able to come. Then he proceeds to tell me since I can’t come, he’s going to bring his female best friend. In that moment I did get a bit insecure. I just expressed that I hope people don’t think they’re together, and he said he’s brought her to many work parties before so they won’t think that. So I said okay…and let it go.

A month or two goes by, and one day while we were facetiming, he mentioned that he is going on vacation to a tropical area for 9 days with his family and his girl bff, the girl bffs other girl bff, his guy bff and his guy bffs girlfriend. And then also mentioned that he won’t be able to respond too much since he will be on vacation. Very understandable, but it was kind of out of nowhere since he reminded me about 3 weeks before. I also should mention, that during the middle of the summer when we were only dating for a couple months, he told me that I was going to go on vacation with him to that tropical area and to get my passport. I told him okay just let me know the price and when you guys are buying the tickets. I told him I didn’t have too much money right now but if he lets me know i’ll do it. Time went by and I eventually forgot. I thought he would update me if he truly wanted to go. Then a few months later he mentions he’s going with everyone 3 weeks before. I was kind hurt that he wouldn’t update me, and I mentioned that to him, and he persists that he did tell me. I have absolutely no memory of it but maybe we remembered it differently. I said whatever and eventually let it go. Maybe i’m just being insecure. Then one day she was going over to hang out with him and his roommate, and he told me that she helped him pick out clothes for him to wear for vacation. I suppose I would have liked to be the one to help pick out clothes for him. I know we are long distance but I figured that would maybe be a good thing for us to do. I mentioned to him that I would’ve liked to be the one to do that and he kind of pouted a bit and seemed super down and was like i promise it was just friends she was just trying to help me out and it wasn’t like that, and i’m so sorry. He swears UP AND DOWN every single time that she is like a sister to him and they are like brother and sister. So again, I just let that go as well.

Fast forward to when he’s on vacation (which was just this past week, he’s going home today) and he’s partying and clubbing and all of that. During the vacation he was wonderful about updating me and texting me even though I told him to not feel pressured since he was on vacation. But he did send me pictures. Some pictures he sent me, it was a group of his friends including the girl bff, and a few particular pictures they were a little closer together than my liking. Yes of course he had the usual arms around the shoulders with the rest of his friends. But there was one picture where she was just pressed up against him to the point where her head was on his chest, and there was another photo of him wrapping his arm around the front of her chest and she has her hand on his arm/elbow area. This made me uncomfortable. I brought up that it looks like they’re a couple in the photos and i’m worried if he posts those then people will think they are together, and not me…he was surprisingly very understanding and apologized. But nothing more really came from it since he had to attend to something so we didn’t get to talk much. I’ve showed some friends the pictures and they agree that they look like a couple in the photos. I still don’t like the fact that they feel comfortable being so close to each other like that, unless i’m just acting crazy.

Then about a night later when he’s still on vacation and we are on the phone for a short few minutes, he told me about how there were times where his girl bff and her friend would get down on themselves and think they’re not attractive, and he would hype them up and tell them and her personally at times, that they could walk outside anywhere and get any man that they want. I guess..I would like to be hyped up like that too. When I get down on myself he legitimately gets upset with me and tells me that I need to start being more confident. He doesn’t hype me up like that. I told him how I felt and he expressed it’s like the same way that I hype up my girlfriends…I just said okay but at this point with all of these things combined i felt so…uncomfortable, insecure, sad, and like a second choice for some reason. Not to mention, i’ve never even met the girl. There was a few times I was supposed to meet her, once when I was down there but we ended up being at his parents longer than expected and it didn’t work out. And then another time where I was driving down to see him and my car ended up breaking down and had to get it fixed. That was pretty recent and I hadn’t been able to get some time to see him since then, but because of those situations i didn’t get to meet her. I was able to meet his guy best friend (also the girl bffs brother) and he was very kind we got along. But my friends and family say they think it’s odd she’s never tried to reach out to me once or even follow me on instagram or try to get to know me since they’re so close. I don’t know…

I don’t want to be the insecure crazy girl that’s telling him to stop being as close with his girl bff he’s known since childhood and has grown up with. I feel evil. But at the same time if I am being insecure and jealous , please call me out. I want to talk to him about this all when he arrives back home and gets all settled. I just have no idea what to say. And I don’t want to make him super upset. I just want understanding. I want understanding that I have my own boundaries in relationships and i’m just not comfortable with this amount of closeness in their friendship. Am I in the wrong? what do I even say? i’m not sure what to do but I feel unhappy. I love him so much and want to make it work but seeing those pictures of them hurt. I suppose it might be a good thing that he’s so comfortable showing me those??? I just still can’t let it go though. I’m so confused on what to do or say.

EDIT: One thing I forgot to mention, he told me he would be buying a new house soon and she will be one of his possible roommates.

UPDATE: He dumped me.