Why Polygamy is Necessary for Women

Muslims today act like polygamy is some huge oppression against women, but they don’t realise how many problems it actually solves. Widows and divorced women struggle to get remarried, and the same people who complain about polygamy being unfair also complain about how these women are left single. How does that make any sense?

A major reason why so many women stay single is the way marriage is viewed today. Slogans like "till death do us part," "soulmate," and "my naseeb" all push the idea that a woman will only ever marry once. And if she gets divorced or widowed, she’s finished, no one will marry her again. This makes women far more paranoid and picky about choosing a spouse, fearing they’ll be stuck with someone who doesn’t meet their "expectations".

The problem? These "expectations" are usually unrealistic. She wants the same man that every other woman on the planet wants, and since she thinks she only gets one shot, she’s not willing to settle for anything less.

And it gets worse; this type of woman realises that she cannot go to her parents and say to them "I need X, Y, Z type of man" and they will be able to bring this exact man in front of her doorstep and she will have a happily ever after. So instead she resorts to finding him herself, and more often than not she is successfully able to both find him and also get into a (haram) relationship with him, believing she can win him over for marriage later on.

But these men are talking to ten other girls at the same time, and to him, she’s nothing special. Eventually, he breaks her heart, and suddenly she’s asking, "Where are all the good men?" She then turns to religion, makes dua for another man just like her ex; only this time, not a cheater. And in this delusion, she keeps delaying marriage, getting older, and restricting her options, still waiting for a guy who will never come.

And then there’s the double standard. A man who has wealth isn’t allowed to use it to provide for another wife and give her a better life just because his first wife is jealous? That’s selfish thinking. This is exactly why zina is rising in Muslim societies. Back in the time of the Sahabah, widows and divorced women didn’t struggle to find husbands because men had multiple wives and could actually marry them.

Men are naturally polygamous, but they’re also naturally inclined towards marrying virgins. If you take away a man’s ability to marry more than one wife, he’s going to do exactly what many women do today—search for the "perfect" spouse. And in that equation, non-virgins don’t even make the list. That’s why widows and divorcees are the ones who suffer the most.

People need to stop rejecting polygamy just because of jealousy and selfish emotions. It was never meant to oppress women, it was always meant to protect them.