It's That Time Again! Vetting a New Dom

TW: Mentions of SA, break ups, & Dom Appreciation.

I left the community about 5 yrs ago due to an unhealthy dynamic. I recently re-entered and unfortunately rushed through my personal process that I developed for myself in a sort of sub frenzy. I won't say anything bad about my most previous dom as there were mistakes made on both ends. There were good times and bad. But, here I am, going through the process again.

Unfortunately with my extensive history of SA is why I developed my "process." With the most recent dom I felt I opened up way too soon and left myself open to vulnerability and being hurt. Again. I feel this was my mistake, not his. I learned a lot about myself and although I'm sad the dynamic with him didn't work, I don't regret going through it as I learned a lot.

Now, this is where the appreciation for the new Dom kicks in. He's sweet, yet assertive in a way that makes me melt. He's attentive and open to listening to whatever I have to say. We talked online for a couple of weeks and he never pushed to meet. To date we have went out for coffee once. I told him I didn't want any sexual contact for atleast a few weeks and he said he's more than happy to wait because he wants to get to know me and doesn't want to rush things. When I told him I didn't want any sexual contact for the time being I fully expected us to just maintain an online/texting contact, but, that's not the case. He said he still wants to see me in person in a more vanilla setting. (He suggested mini golf where I fully plan on kicking his ass haha.) When I asked if that would be too tempting for sexual activities, he reassured me that as much as I tempt him, his will power is stronger. When talking about my "process," he listens and asks questions.

Even if things don't work out with him, this is exactly what all of us subs should aim for. I see/hear endless stories from other subs about nightmare dom's. Yes, some of us believe ourselves to be broken and in need (including myself), but, we need to get to know ourselves and build ourselves up to be the best people that we can be. There's no shame in needing help and I'm so glad that's why platforms like this exist.