Q for Long-Term Retainers: How Do You Balance Spirituality and Ambition?

Bridging the Gap Between Spiritual and Material

I’ve been wrestling with the raw truth of ambition and its inner fire the intense drive fueled by greed, fear, or a deep hunger for identity. That fire pushes us to grind, conquer, and define ourselves through doing. I remember when I was driven by insecurity and greed; every achievement felt like a badge of honor, and my life was chaotic full of financial markets and ceaseless activity. I was obsessed even destructive—in my habits (smoking, alcohol, weed, PMO, pseudo food). Those habits were merely tools to sedate a mind burdened since childhood. That passion burned hot, and it worked. until it didn’t.

Over the past few months, I embarked on a journey of celibacy and discipline. I’ve tolerated extreme cold, built strength in the gym with planks, learned to cook healthy meals, and immersed myself in study and work until I reached a state of timeless flow and focus. This rigorous practice has given me great gifts: an almost unbearable tolerance to physical extremes, a newfound ability to cope with discomfort, and the realization that I can be anything I set my mind to. I’ve learned to see the world beyond the constant baseline agitation, suffering, and craving

Yet as I grew more present and quiescent, a curious contradiction emerged. The intense ambition that once drove me now feels aversive. I no longer crave that relentless chase perhaps because the dopamine of “more” has revealed its inherent emptiness. I find joy in simplicity: in the calm that comes from meditating all day, and in the quiet satisfaction of a perfectly executed daily routine. And yet, while I am content, happy, and at peace, a part of me still wonders: what happens when that fire of ambition burns out, or even more startlingly, when it no longer controls you? I never wanted to chop just one piece of wood. I wanted to level mountains, to ignite worlds.That fire wasn’t a burden it was my identity. The ambition, the hunger it wasn’t just something I did. It was me

This shift has left me at a crossroads. My university, acts as a temporary steadfast anchor in the practical world, once symbolized my ambition. Before I began my spiritual journey, I spent five years studying and striving to become a portfolio manager defined by the world of finance and driven by an ego built since high school. Now, at 21 and in my third year of uni, that drive seems to be drifting away. A setback led me to detach from external news, market trends, and the incessant buzz of the material world. I no longer indulge in the habits that once fed my ambition.

So here’s the question I’ve been mulling over, and I’d love to hear from fellow Redditors who have navigated these troubled waters:

How do you reconcile the pull of spiritual contentment with the drive for achievement/material success?

How do you maintain the balance between the quiet joy of being present/now/selflessness and the undeniable power of ambition a force that once propelled me to conquer the world, yet now feels both unsustainable and empty?

I’m not calling for a renunciation of the material world, nor do I aspire to be a monk, guru, or disciple. I simply want to carry the state of inner quiescence I’ve discovered into the chaotic, creative, entrepreneurial life I once wanted to build. Have any of you felt this tension between surrendering to a peaceful, present state and the drive to achieve and define yourself through doing? How do you bridge the gap between spiritual contentment and the restless pursuit of more?