Rate my cold email
Hi! I just started an email campaign for my new Cupcake Saas. I have gone through 3 big changes and a few minor versions but haven’t had much traction surprisingly. It’s only been about 1-2 business days so far but still. One British company actually responded to my initial email but haven’t heard from them since. I assumed they would be jumping all over this, it’s nearly risk free for all involved if I can get a big enough network effect.
First version described my subscription price and how much I wanted to pay per transaction. I figured they don’t need to know that yet so I got rid of it. Only sent it to a handful of people Thursday night to Friday.
Second version I would send an email asking to speak to a sales manager. Idea was to get a response first. British store responded almost immediately at 1am but I was asleep. I replied to them Monday morning NYC time but haven’t heard back. Sent this to maybe 10-15 people
Current Version. I just refined it with the help of ChatGPT this morning.
—————————————
My name is (me), I am reaching out to explore the possibility of a strategic sales partnership between CupcakePass and [Recipient’s Company].
Here’s how it works
CupcakePass subscribers can order one free cupcake per day. [Recipient’s Company] chooses which cupcakes are offered. CupcakePass pays [Recipient’s Company] an agreed upon price per cupcake.
The goal is to drive more customers into your digital and physical stores for you to upsell and build relationships with. For example, one person may come for a single cupcake but order higher margin drinks, a dozen cupcakes, or other items from your menu.
I would love to schedule a meeting to discuss this opportunity in more detail and explore how we can work together to achieve our common goals. Please let me know your availability for a call or meeting next week.
Thank you for considering this proposal. I look forward to the possibility of partnering with [Recipient’s Company] and driving success together.
Best regards,
(Me) CupcakePass