How do I love myself?

When I look in the mirror,
I tell myself I'm beautiful;
I feel my skin
And love my hair
And resonate in the unfamiliar feeling
Of enjoying being me.
And as I sit and stare,
I whisper simple words for myself to hear;
"I love you"

Every night,
Before I break eye contact with the soul behind my eyes
I give myself the passion I desire.
But tonight
As I gazed upon my reflection,
And pondered my body
Whispering my love,
I couldn't help but cry.
For, I had realised in that moment,
That the only reason it is I love myself as so
Is because I learnt to accept
That the world around me did not.

I pondered how likely it was that anyone loved me
As I loved myself.
Whether I would ever find this person,
Or would I spend the rest of my life
Whispering sweet nothings into my own ears.
Alone.
Growing weary to the idea that
Maybe I shouldn't love myself at all.

I know this mindset stems far
From the confidence I so wish to protrude,
But how can one not wander astray
When faced with the comment of the crowd?
I realise I have never been loved before
The way I know I deserve-
18 years
5 relationships
Countless people's sworn off hearts,
Day by day.
How will I ever know they love me like I do?
How I love myself;
Hold myself;
Care for myself;
If I will ever deserve that type of love at all.