A bit lost on the concept of a non-interventionalist God

I go to a lovely church whose pastor is very much on the side of God being non-interventionalist -- the idea that no matter who prays or for what, God is never going to affect the world. That we dictate where the world goes, and if we decide to light it all on fire, God is not going to show up and save anyone.

As someone who grew up exactly opposite of that, I'm very lost at this point. If we are going to have a "relationship" with God, everything I know about relationships suggests they are very much a two way street. Friendships, partnerships, romantic relationships, family relationships, they all need maintenance, and they are all considered cold at best and abusive at worst if only one party gives and only one party takes. If God doesn't actually do anything, then what's the point of changing your lifestyle to match religious needs? Why not just go drink and party and have all the sex you want and say what you want and otherwise do anything you want? Why pray? Why learn to be kind to your enemies when it's not like it matters anyway if you smack them in the face? Why think about God any more than you think about how cool the sunset is? If God is now relegated to someone who made the universe and sits back now, then while he did a glorious thing, there seems to be no particular reason to actually communicate instead of regarding God like the dead artists who made historical paintings. Wonderful, but inaccessible, and inconsequential.

And why have confidence that anything will be okay? Humans sure aren't going to make that happen. If God won't provide any kind of help, any kind of safety net, then the entire world could go to crap at any moment and he'll just watch us all die. That seems unfathomably cruel, like a father sitting on a riverbank watching his children drown and then going back to reading a book while they die in front of him. We're all little mortals with barely any time to figure our lives out. It's unreasonable for a universe-creating deity to let us destroy ourselves like that. I'm starting to understand the supposed lines scratched out in a concentration camp: "God will have to beg my forgiveness."

This all may seem very transactional -- "I'm not going to pray if you don't do something for me" but think about all human bonds. If you had a friend who never talked to you no matter how often you called, no matter how many times you dropped by and knocked on his door, no matter how many invitations you extended, you would assume this person didn't want to be your friend at all.

So in the end, going to church now feels so empty. I feel like my faith kind of disappeared except in the abstract sense that I do believe God created everything. If I can't pray for help...I guess I'm just on my own out here. I don't want to obey someone who won't save me from the worst of life. Obedience is costly.

I wish I'd never heard our pastor's sermons. I think it broke me and my spiritual life, despite how kind and earnest he is.