But I don't want to cure cancer! OPM Edition
This oldie rolled across my dash, and I thought I'd share it with you. :)
With apologies to Spiderman.
What can I say? He knows what he likes
Let's go round and interview a few scientists in OPM, shall we?
Us: Dr. Bofoi, we can't help but notice the extraordinary speed with which you cleared City A and erected a new headquarters, all at a small fraction of the cost that would have been expected. Beyond that, we notice that your capacity to build at scale is unparalleled. With so many people losing their homes to monster attacks and other disasters, why don't you take the next step and cure homelessness?
Dr. Bofoi: I don't want to cure homelessness. I want to bill the Hero Association for every Yen I can get. I assure you, it's going to a far more important cause. Actually, more importantly, how did you get in here?
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Us: Dr. Kuseno, your endeavours in supporting the hero Demon Cyborg are truly extraordinary. Once people thought the dream of near-infinite clean energy from nuclear power to be a pipe dream, yet you appear to have solved this problem in an incredibly compact and robust way. Why don't you use your technology to cure energy shortage and usher in a new industrial revolution?
OPM doesn't have an energy problem. It has an inventions hoarded by a few problem.
Dr Kuseno: Lol, I fear you may have mistaken me for someone with lofty ideals. I don't aspire to anything as grand as a new industrial revolution. I don't mind doing the odd good deed, but my aims are far more simple: I want to develop a killer cyborg through whom I can pour out the fullness of my burning rage against my enemies. Speaking of whom, he's due back very shortly. If he finds you here, I can't stop him from incinerating you. He's a bit over-protective.
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Us: Dr. Genus, you have not only understood the rules of life far better than any person but have rewritten them entirely. With your army of you, there are few fields that you do not have a purview of. Perhaps the most amazing thing you could do would be to harness your ability to clone flesh indefinitely to cure world hunger and stop the depredation of the natural world to feed humanity. How about it?
OPM doesn't have a hunger problem. It has... but you get the point.
Dr. Genus: Starving is about all the unimproved mass of humanity deserves. I have no interest in curing world hunger. I just want somebody intelligent enough to talk to. Pause. Which you most certainly aren't.