Can’t cope with people having different opinions.

Tw: Suicidal and homicidal mention

Hi, I’m diagnosed with OCD, but I’m not sure if what I’m about to describe is even OCD related. I feel comfortable with this community, so I wanted to share this here.

I go through these “moments” where I breakdown because someone has a different perspective or opinion than me. It can be a little or big thing. If I’m very passionate in something and someone feels different about it, it can really trigger me. I know this probably sounds stupid, but try to hear me out. It’s really bad when it comes to moral beliefs. Obviously, this could be a problem for plenty of people to deal with because it’s such a sensitive topic, but I really lose it. It triggers me so much to the point where I’m ready to kill myself right in that moment. It bothers me to my core. There’s nothing I can say to truly describe the feeling. It’s more painful than being stabbed repeatedly by a flaming sword.

Then, my brain goes on and on talking to itself, explaining my thoughts and feelings on the topic. I start to rant about how the person is wrong, but I’m so overwhelmed with emotion that I just ramble and repeat myself. I then think about all the people in the world who might think the same as the initial wrong person(s). That thought amplifies the situation and makes it 10x worse. I spiral uncontrollably. It consumes me. Often times it makes me have homicidal thoughts.

Anyway, is this relatable or am I just toxic?