Living with OCD

Does anyone feel like smashing their head on the wall out of frustration for falling in the trap of doing compulsion always ? I feel like screaming so bad at times and say bad things to this evil disease, but then I stop myself for the fear of being embarrassed if someone listens to my screaming. It feels so uncomfortable when I stop doing those compulsions . Why does God has to give us this tormenting disease?? Why God Why!! Sometimes I feel that even people who are blind or are lame have a better life than people with OCD . No judging or offense though .