What am I doing wrong?

So this is my 8th or so attempt at a wash & go (which still isnt washing and going lol). I am trying to achieve something that is defined and well clumped, and I have tried soooo many things to try to achieve this. I have tried deep conditioning, styling while in the showere so my hair stays wet, using a tonn of product, conditioner plus gel, just gel, styling outside of the shower with a spray bottle, diffusing, air drying, finger curling, etc.

Idk what else to do tbh haha- the pics show 3+ hours of effort at 3am. The last pic is closer to what I am tring to achieve (not a great difference in texture tbh). Any suggestions?