Is there a place that helps you with chronic illness and severe mental health?

I really need to find a mental health place. I’m actually completely out of character— thoughts, feelings, behaviors. Having very dark thoughts. Constant headache and spine pain. But I am severely traumatized by doctors and cannot seem to get myself to go anywhere. I have a lot of medical trauma and medication sensitivities. Many times they do not listen, and that has opened me up for more trauma and gaslighting.

I’m on Ativan and it is really really messing with me badly. I don’t feel like myself at all. My brain hurts. My spine hurts. My neck hurts. I was in a lot of pain, but I always had my mind about me.

I have a gum infection that’s spreading and I cannot seem to get myself to go to the dentist due to my violent intrusive thoughts, ptsd.

I’m terrified.