Why is the kindness of lonely men always questioned?

There's this frustrating and hypocritical nature of wider society to question the integrity of lonely men who vent about being kind and trying to do good yet still have no social "wins". What got me thinking about this was a reel I saw on Instagram of some guy "explaining" the difference between "nice guys" and "good guys", saying that "nice guys only do stuff to get laid meanwhile good guys are kind for the sake of being kind" but I couldn't help thinking that it's all virtue signalling nonsense. It really annoys me that when a guy down on his luck, doesn't have a friend group of a girlfriend expresses frustration at a lack of success despite being kind people jump down his throat with the "Well, if you were really kind, you wouldn't expect anything in return" as if it's wrong to want connection or appreciation.

While I do agree that it's unwise to be kind to someone and expect something in return from that specific person, it's perfectly acceptable to generally hope for good things as a result of your kindness, kinda like good karma. It feels like there’s this unwritten rule that kindness only "counts" if it’s coming from someone who’s already socially fulfilled. If a lonely person expresses frustration about their isolation, suddenly their kindness is questioned, as if it's a ploy rather than a sincere part of who they are.

There's nothing wrong with wanting connection or recognition for the good you do. People just like to hold others—especially lonely men—to impossible standards while letting themselves off the hook for the same things. Everyone loves to believe that their own kindness is purely selfless, but there's honestly no such thing. Everything we do comes from a place of self-interest and preservation, no matter if it's motivated consciously or subconsciously.

You give money to a beggar because it makes you feel good, you hold the door open for you date and the elderly couple behind you because it makes you look good, you help out your friends knowing that they'll help you out one day and it's perfectly valid to feel frustrated if none of that works out.

Maybe I've been researching too much in to Max Stirner and Egoism but I just think that the bluepilled "fuck you, got mine" individuals are such liars when they act as though they got friendships/relationships out of nothing but pure kindness, when in reality, they navigated social dynamics with self-interest just like everyone else.

Sorry for venting.