Struggling with Guilt as a Bisexual Muslim.

I've never really talked about this before, but I feel like I need to get it off my chest. I'm a 28-year-old Sunni Muslim, and I'm bisexual. The guilt of it eats me alive sometimes. Islam is such a big part of who I am, but so is this part of me that I can't change.

I try to ignore it, to push it down, to convince myself that if I pray hard enough, it will go away. But the truth is, I crave love. I crave intimacy. I want someone to hold me, to kiss me, to take care of me, and to let me take care of them. And that feeling doesn't go away just because I tell myself it’s wrong.

I feel like I'm stuck between two worlds. In one, I’m a good Muslim, following the rules, staying on the right path. In the other, I’m just a human being who needs love and connection like everyone else. And I don’t know how to make peace with both.

The loneliness is the worst part. I wish I could talk to someone about this without fear of judgment or rejection. I just want to be seen and understood, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

Has anyone else struggled with this? How do you deal with the guilt? How do you find a way to exist when it feels like who you are is a contradiction?