Confession ig?

Before you continue reading, I know people will have different takes on this. That’s cool—I’m open to criticism, judgement, whatever. Take your time with it, and if you’ve got something to say, feel free to share. I just think this might be worth a read. So yeah… let’s begin, I guess? (Insert YouTube intro music)

You ever just sit back and realize how survival has changed? Back in the day, it was all about physical strength—wars, battles, hunting, all of it. If you were the strongest, you made it. Then came politics, and survival turned into a game of wit and control. The powerful ruled, the rest followed.

Now? It’s all about competition in disguise. They don’t call it survival anymore—they call it 'education', 'career', 'success'. People fight over colleges, jobs, and salaries like it’s life or death. Not because they love what they do, but because they have to.

Look at history—back in the 17th, 18th, 19th centuries, people were chasing excellence. Science was about discovery, not degrees. Art was about expression, not followers. Now? It’s all about efficiency—how fast you can solve shit, how much you can earn, how well you can “sell” yourself. It’s practical, sure, but also soulless.

And here I am, caught in the middle of it all. My body’s dying, my mind’s a mess, and I don’t even know if what I’m doing is what I truly want. I study because I have to, not because I love it. I score 90+ because I have no other choice, but does it even mean anything? My younger self used to believe that good grades would fix everything—that if I got a 90, the loneliness would fade, and life would feel right. Spoiler: It doesn’t.

And yet, despite all this, a part of me still craves something deeper. I don’t want money, fame, or validation—I just wanted company. And even that turned out to be a lie. I was a 'backup plan'. Nothing more. And now, I don’t even have that.

So I guess I’ll just keep moving forward. Not because I have it all figured out, but because stopping isn’t an option. Maybe I’ll find my real purpose along the way or maybe I won’t. Who knows?