When did your mortality start to set in?

We’ve all done the math I’m sure. I’m 55 next month so I joke that I’m only middle aged if I live to be 110. Goofy dad joke but it does hit a little close to home.

My father and grandfathers were all in their mid to late 70’s when they died. I can’t help but recognize that. It’s freaks me out sometimes. I’m not depressed over it. I live a really good life. Better than many and philosophically I make an effort to seek out experiences to make sure I don’t leave with any significant regrets.

But there are days when I think I’ve only got 20-25 years left. I think back to Y2K and realize how long ago that was. My kids were little. What jobs I’ve had since, cars I’ve bought and sold. Places I’ve lived. It’s a long time ago. Then I think my baby boy has been in the navy ten years already. How did that go by so fast? I visited a friend in Thailand a few months ago and realized he’s been there 5 years and we met 20 years ago at work. Has it been that long already.

So 20 years goes by slowly and quickly at the same time. Knowing I’m I’m the last third of my life is…uncomfortable…if that’s the right word. Again not depressing. But something I think about more than I’ve ever thought about it.

*Edit: Thank you all so much for responding. I may not respond to all of you but I have and will read all your responses. It seems we are all in the same boat. Some of your stories were heartbreaking while others were inspiring. Hope I didnt bring anyone down. But as many of you have pointed out this sort of discussion does remind us that we do have limited time so lets not waste what we have.

I leave you with the first lines of my favorite poem:

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."