An Exceedingly Aggravated Rant About Gau
FFVI is inarguably one of the best video games ever made, as I'm sure anyone on this sub will agree. One of the main reasons for this is that most of its key characters are expertly designed, have unique personalities, and are thematically complex in their personal struggles and redemption arcs; see Terra, Celes, Locke, etc.
Gau on the other hand, is the antithesis of everything great about the other characters; he lacks soul, genuine personality, and any other redeeming attribute an individual could possibly possess, i.e. the traits of the SPAWN OF SATAN. Gau may as well for all I care be the living representation of depravity; Yoshinori Kitase could not have had anything but pure coldness and insincerity in his heart left for Gau after putting everything towards the remarkable characters of Celes and Kefka. I feel so much resentment for his cheerless, third creation that it actually disgusts me.
A few reasons:
Gau, both as a playable party member and his role in the game's story, is completely and utterly worthless after Sabin and Cyan make it to Narshe. What is he there for, like genuinely? To defend Tritoch and fight the Empire, despite having zero affiliation with Kefka or the Empire? Nobody else in the story even questions his presence - it's like somebody added Gau as their own little character in a romhack years after the game was released. You could seriously just drop him off on the Veldt forever and the game would proceed completely inconsequentially. You don't even need him for Kefka's Tower - let's pray to god he can pilot the airship.
Gau''s character itself is pitifully shallow, inconsistent, and poorly designed. I can't really blame Amano to be honest, because if I was told to make something creative out of the ridiculousness that is Gau's sprite, I would probably jump into the Serpent Trench forgoing the godforsaken diver's helmet thing. Why is his hair bright green? What gives him the right to use blue magic well beyond even Strago's ability? Or better, just why? Gau's character arc might not even be as deep as the FF5 characters - oh wow, he gets treated with basic warmth and respect from Sabin and Mr. Thou after being left for himself. There wasn't even an intriguing origin story! There were so many opportunities! How is Gau special? Why does he belong among the protagonists? But nope, instead we're left with a despicable husk of a character that resembles an alien more than a feral child - have you even read his dialogue during the father sidequest? Unintelligible.
By far the most reprehensible, wicked part of the entire Gau ordeal is the rage mechanic. That shit is an affront to GOD.
253??!!
Sakaguchi should have made an official apology to completionists DECADES ago for approving this. Imagine trying to get all of them back in the 90s with no guide. Nightmarish! And that's just the beginning - scrolling through the rage menu in battle to find what you might want is so awful so you may as well just mash A to use the Guard rage every time in place of a fight option, y'know, the command almost every other character has, barring Umaro the berserker, which makes Gau's automatic fight unnecessary anyway in a strategic sense. Also, having to grind on the Veldt for hours just to find a rage actually worth using completely destroys the momentum and immersion of the game's story! Why couldn't Gau just pick up rages by fighting enemies anywhere? The idea was botched from conception to execution. Absolutely no player ever deserves to have to go through that wretched mechanic.
- (Easily the worst part) Basically ANY other character ever created could've replaced Gau as a party and cast member and done a better job at fitting in, driving or being relevant to the plot, and providing an ACTUALLY FUN special ability. Just IMAGINE the possibilities, you could have the scrapped beastmaster Angela living on the Veldt, who could have a range of relationships with the other characters like Cyan, Terra, or Setzer, while still maintaining a link to the Veldt and monsters, and also connecting to themes of environmentalism. You don't even have to replace Gau! If he had simply been omitted entirely, the greater focus on the other minor characters would've been fantastic! But the ramifications of including him were never assessed. There is a single reason why there is an ongoing lack of consensus as to the best game ever made. It's because of motherfucking Gau.
As discussed, I believe wholeheartedly that the existence of Gau in the code for Final Fantasy VI is the most direct proof the human race will ever have to confirm that we are indeed living in the dark timeline. I pray every day will be the last I ever see or hear of him and his vacuous green hair and outfit.
Does anyone else feel this way?