Top 5 Toxic Message Board Game Threads for the Round of 64
Who gives a shit about the games, here are the top 5 game threads I'm looking forward to tuning into for the first round:
Kansas - Arkansas: Both fan bases are insufferable when they're good, but neither team is and that makes it all the better. Kansas is in a down year and most of our base has resigned to the fact that we suck. With that said, we're still snobbish enough to think that we deserve to win multiple games so it'll get really heated when Arkansas takes an early double digit lead. Tack on the fact that Arkansas's former coach took his shirt off after the upset in '23 and there's been bad blood for a few years now. Look for this one to get ugly early and not stop. Over/under IQ for the majority of posters in here should hover around 80.
Purdue - High Point: Can't say I'm super familiar with any of the High Point posters, but Purdue's base has proven itself the most self-loathing, angriest people on this board. They never disappoint. If this one stays close, which it very well could, Matt Painter's clueless sideline expression could send a majority of the Boilermakers over the edge now that they've tasted a deep run. The real catalyst here will be the Indiana home boarders hoping to soothe their current pain with Purdue misery. They'll be involved whether this one is competitive or not, but should High Point make a game out of it, Indiana posters will smell blood in the water and make this a must see thread.
Missouri - Drake: Missouri hasn't won a tournament game in like 30 years (don't fact check me), but they have a long, storied history of being delusional about their tourney chances. I present to you exhibit A from when they won the big 12 tournament in 2012 and then proceeded to let Norfolk St. drop 86 on them as a 15 seed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vMfqosdDbY This isn't a one off, it's who these people are. Drake fans on the other hand, while seemingly harmless, have a sneaky elitism to them. When they're good, and make no mistake they are, they will show out on this board. Expect virtual puffed out chests to start appearing very soon. Just remember, they're used to conversing with other Iowans so you'll be able to see through their schtick pretty quickly. This should absolutely be one of the best games of the first round as we watch the SEC start to unravel early. As the game goes on and reality sets in for the Missouri mouth breathers, it should turn pretty one sided. Everyone is invited to come join this gang bang.
Gonzaga - Georgia: This one is going to be special. On the one hand, we have a once Cinderella fanbase turned basketball powerhouse in Gonzaga. Their fans have tasted tourney success and they're no longer the little guy. Most of them are pretty respectful, but the have a special section that comes for blood during the tourney. On the other hand, we have Georgia. Most of these posters don't even know the rules for basketball and a good portion can't read. But from the part of their base that can, It'll be especially interesting to see how many of them are able to figure out the message board functionality and post. Don't expect any sort of rational conversation, and almost none of their messages will have any sort of punctuation, but we're sure to get some of the most outrageous comments about who knows what. Phrases like "let's play football" and "you wouldn't say that to my face" will happen frequently. The best advice I can give to understand this one would be to watch "Of Mice and Men" before hand and see how George converses with Lennie. Use small words so they understand your insults, and remember, ultimately they just want to pet rabbits.
UCONN - Oklahoma: Our final must see thread is between the two time defending champs and Oklahoma. There's a few hundred Danny Hurley disciples on here who believe they're better than everyone. Quite frankly, they have been for two years. But, Clinigan is gone and they're mortal again. They stink of elitism and want you to take a whiff. "How is that not a foul," "who cares we've won the past two," and "at least I don't live in Oklahoma" will be the three most common themes from these guys. In the other corner, we have the defeated Oklahoma base. These guys are finally coming to terms with the fact that they won't be relevant in football in the SEC, so more and more of them are turning to basketball as an escape. Very similar to the Georgia base in that they don't understand much of what is happening around them so they just turn to anger. The real fun here will be whether or not these two bases are even capable of interacting with each other, it could just turn into UCONN posters writing paragraphs and Sooners responding with virtual grunts. If Gonzaga/Georgia was George and Lennie, this is like a knock off Rolex interacting with a monkey.
Honorable Mention: Tennessee: Really wanted to include Tennessee, but ultimately didn't see enough value from Wofford who I admittedly know nothing about. Tennessee fans are right up there with Purdue when it comes to anger so expect them to lay waste to any thread they come in contact with. This game likely won't be close so I expect them to keep it together for the first round, but they'll show their true colors the deeper they go. They're a fun bunch, just make sure to irrationally throw in Peyton Manning jabs for no reason.