It's 6 months since she's gone

Hello, to be honest it feels so weird to write this post, excepting emotional support from internet, but I can't talk to anybody. I know they won't understand and I'm not that type of person you would except to need emotional support of any kind, I feel great most of the time.

It's 6 months since she's gone, I am so better now, but sometimes I still ache from what happened and how it all gone to waste. It's harder to let go of the love than pain. I don't think about her so much now, sometimes for days. Unfortunately I've been thinking about her for past few days.

It feels like there is still something I did not sort out. I dream about her a lot and these dreams are full of emotional pain.

I've been happy enough not meeting her for past 4 months. I feel anxiety when I think about meeting her.

I know that she truly loved me but she is not in control of herself. I forgive her, but there is still a lot of emotional pain connected with her.

So how do you let it go for 100%? How to keep my emotions stable when I think about her, when I remember what she has done or when I am going to meet her? How to move on for good?

Thank you.