Ironically, I find the normies socially lacking

When I have conflicts with neurotypical friends, even the ones who are very popular, I'm often hurt by their thoughtlessness, lack of consideration, selfishness, subtle manipulation. I don't know if it's a mask but I have very good manners, a high moral code, very loyal, always want to do what is right etc.

An example: I am hanging out with NT friend who mentions she's hosting a dinner party but her bf can't make it and she's sad. I'm sad because she doesn't even think to invite me even though there's an extra seat. I could never ask to join, though, because of my polite manners...

EDIT: in my moral universe, if the roles were reversed, I would already anticipate it would be painful for a close friend to hear about my gathering without an invite, so I wouldn't mention it. In fact it would be so awkward and painful for me to mention it, I wouldn't mention it... I'm not trying to convey an "Us vs them" mentality, but I am confounded why we are the ones with the social deficit etc