AIO for considering skipping my childhood best friend’s wedding because of her racist fiancé?

I’m (21f) honestly freaking out over something that just happened. I’ve known my childhood best friend forever (let’s call her Bella) even though we don’t talk as much anymore (like once every six months), and we’re not as close as we used to be, we still share that special bond and I miss her and her family all the time. I was looking forward to her wedding until her fiancé (let’s call him Jared) did the most insanely racist shit that I just can’t ignore. Bella and Jared are fake names btw.

A few months ago during a FaceTime call, Jared walked into the background of her room and said, “Oh, is that the one who dated the black guy?” referring to me, and made a grossed out face and noise. I was caught off guard and immediately got the sense that he was racist. Some people in Bella’s family have a history of being problematic with race, so I assumed it was just an uncomfortable comment she let slide because she was used to it. But Jesus, it was so much worse than I thought.

Then, a couple days ago, shit got insane. I was in my room on a FT with Bella while she was in her parked car. We were talking about tattoos and I was looking at tattoo ideas on Pinterest. Suddenly Jared came into the car and out of nowhere, he started saying the n word. Mind you we are all very white. This made me very uncomfortable and he could clearly sense that. So he starts saying it more and then with a hard r. I’m asking him to stop and saying that’s insane. He’s then calling me lame for being uncomfortable and “not being able to take a joke.” I fail to find the humor in this situation.

I’m trying to steer away from racism and get back to talking to my friend because I’m really bad with confrontation and I’m feeling extremely uncomfortable, so I bring it back to the pinterest tattoos. I’m like, “Anyways, look at this cute skeleton, I think I’ll sketch this one”. This piece of shit fiancé had the nerve to say, “Make sure it’s the skeleton of a black man being hung.” I was absolutely disgusted and just sat there shocked while they both laughed. Who in their right mind says something like that?? It’s one of the most evil psychopathic racist things I’ve ever heard from someone, and it disgusts me that she wants to marry someone who would say that. I said something like “what the fuck that’s insane” and that I’m gonna hang up and go eat my dinner now, and he said something about me being too sensitive and not being any fun. idk what his idea of fun is but…

Now I’m really questioning if I should go to the wedding or not. Bella didn’t make me a maid of honor or anything, just a bridesmaid, and I don’t want to punish her for Jared’s racism. But she’s showing her true colors if this behavior is something she’s okay with, and I’m feeling like I have no idea who she really is anymore. I just need someone to tell me what you think from an unbiased, non-connected perspective. Am I overreacting by considering bailing on the wedding, or is it completely justified to distance myself from this toxic situation?

Edit: UPDATE!! I will not be attending the wedding! I have not spoken to Bella yet, but after reading everyone’s comments and coming to my senses (thank you all for slapping me in the face with logic) she is definitely also racist.