What women tell me…

I [47m] live in a medium sized southern city. In my 20s I only dated +/- 1 year. My ex-wife was 31 and I was 34 years when we met.

Recently I got divorced, I went on several dating apps and set age range to 30-53 with zero limitations on race, body, lifestyle or anything.

I went on dates with several women over 40 and one over 50 and they were all pretty good. But I was also contacted by quite a few women under 30 and I went on dates with some of them.

What they ALL shared with me is something that AGR critics seem unwilling to account for.

• All the younger women described the absolute catastrophe that is many men in their 20s. Lying, games, infidelity, selfishness, arrogance, laziness, drug and alcohol abuse, poor self-care, inability to function in normal life (lack of jobs, inability to manage a house or apartment), etc.

In my experience, the women who seek AGR do so after years of frustration and disappointment in the men their age.

I don’t think it’s a controversial or groundbreaking to say Americans have been failing young men for years and the current generation is not in a good place. We can point to a lot of reasons for that, and different political perspectives explain it differently, but everyone agrees many men under 30 are a mess.

Anyone who judge or criticize AGRs, need to acknowledge they’re expecting young women to do the work of civilizing a whole generation of men when the boys’ parents, schools, civic, entertainment and political leaders have failed them. I can’t fault some young women for opting out of that assignment.

—- CODA: I’m a year into the most amazing relationship I’ve ever been in. My GF sought me out. She’s 24, African American and a successful business owner. I’ve never dated a woman this young, black or who makes more than me. At no point does it even feel like there’s a gap. The relationship defies all stereotypes of an AGR, which is one reason I get so frustrated when critics speak in universalities or “truths.”